It's Who You Are: A Conversation about Gender Identity and Gender Expression
Video Companion Guide
Watching It's Who You Are is only the first step in thinking about gender identity and gender expression. To help facilitate meaningful discussion, below you will find helpful information about the issues raised in the video as well as some ideas for group activities and questions to pose to the audience. This is intended to get the ball rolling, so to speak; we hope that this video and companion guide will inspire you to think of your own questions and activities in our greater effort to promote understanding and awareness of gender identity and expression.
Contents
Finding the "You" within Yourself
Identity - it's not just your driver's license. A social identity is how you see yourself in relation to social characteristics and groups. Social identities come from all directions: race, sexual orientation, ethnicity, gender identity or expression, dis/ability, class, religion, and the list goes on. While no one can be reduced to a mere list of identities, social identities contribute to who we are as people. And we've all got multiple identities that define us -- nobody is just one thing.
Imagine holding a tennis ball for each identity you have. It can get pretty hard to juggle them at times, and it's really hard for other people to see all of them when they're all up in the air.
Some identities are more important to some folks and less important to others. My ethnic identity might have a huge effect on the way I experience the world, but your physical ability may hold greater influence for you. It's important to remember that even though a particular identity may not be very significant for you at a particular time in your life, you still have that identity.
Your Turn: Questions to Consider
What are your social identities? What is your gender identity? Why do we seldom take time to think about our genders? What are the ways you express your gender identity? For most of us, gender is a non-issue and we never stop to think about it. What makes you feel like your gender is your own? Is it your gender expression? What have other people told you about yourself? When you were born, you were assigned to a gender, female or male; does your current gender identity match the assignment you were given?
Violence and Harassment
Many people face harassment and discrimination based on their gender identities and expressions. These incidents can take many forms, from name-calling and taunts to sexual assault, beatings, and even murder. The US government does not count assaults due to the victim's perceived or actual gender as hate crimes, so there are no official statistics that can tell us exactly how dangerous it is to go against gender expectations. However, the National Center for Transgender Equality estimates the murder rate for transgender people to be as high as one in twelve, compared to the U.S. average murder rate of less than one in 20,000.
Questions to Consider:
Why do you think there is so much gender-based violence? What is it that triggers gender-based discrimination that escalates to violence? Why do you think some people are harassed and targeted by others based on their gender identity/gender expression?
Accepted and Not Questioned
Several of the speakers in the video note that constantly being singled out as different makes it very challenging to go about their day. And yet, a lot of us are curious when we see someone we don't understand, or someone we can't easily pin down, whether we're talking about gender or other social identities. How can we learn from each other if people don't want to be questioned?
Some people are open and willing to talk about their gender experiences and some aren't. It's important to remember context - maybe shouting across the Diag isn't the best way to ask why somebody looks the way they do. But in other circumstances or contexts, it might be completely appropriate to ask that same question.
Have you ever been singled out? Sometimes it can be fun or exhilarating, but feeling different can be very isolating. Ultimately, whether somebody talks with you or not is their choice, but taking care to be respectful can make that person feel more comfortable and lead to discussion and learning that might never otherwise occur.
When in doubt, here are a couple of tips:
- In group settings, like meetings or workshops, ask "Which pronouns, if any, do you prefer?" to the whole group. This can be a clarifier for you and also be inviting participants to think about a concept - their pronouns - that they don't often consider.
- On forms, allow for people to self-identify their sex or gender by filling it in themselves, instead of providing check boxes.
- Frame your questions related to gender identity or expression in an attitude of understanding and inclusion, instead of curiosity or mockery.
- Be alert to cues that one might give to hint at their particular pronoun preference.
- Give yourself permission to be unpolished - we all trip up, but be willing to be respectfully corrected.
Group Activity
The way we see other people is influenced by a number of factors, including our family background, social positions, and even our own social identities. This activity is designed to help you get a feel for what happens when the way you see the world intersects with the way other people see themselves.
1. Take a few minutes to think about your social identities and what they mean to you. These could include your gender, religion, ethnicity, race, ability, sexual orientation, and a host of other things.
2. Now, write them down in order of importance to you, so that the identity that matters most to you (or that you think about the most) is at the top of the list. Don't worry if some identities are equally important to you. Group them in whatever way seems right to you.
3. Look at the person next to you. That person will be your discussion partner. What expressions of social identities do you see, or which ones can you guess at? Write down this list so that the expression that you notice first, or most strongly, is at the top of the list.
4. Compare the list you wrote about yourself with the list your partner wrote about you. Where do they match up? Where are they different? What does this tell you about the different values between you and your partner?
Terms and Definitions
Sex: The biological components of maleness and femaleness.
- Think "Biology 101" (chromosomes, genitals, gonads, hormones)
- What happens if these components don't all line up?
Sexual Orientation: Sexual and romantic attraction to particular kinds of people, usually based on gender.
- Think rainbow: straight gay, lesbian, bisexual, queer, questioning.
- Sexual Orientation does not predict gender identity.
- What others have you heard?
Gender Identity: A person's internal sense of their own gender
- Think categories: woman, man.
- Gender identity does not predict sexual orientation.
- Are there more?
Gender Expression: A person's outward display of gender characteristics
- Think appearance: hairstyle, clothing, accessories, mannerisms.
- What else influences how you "read" another person's gender?
Gender Expectations: Before a child is born, there tends to be expectations, like "boys will wear blue and play with trucks, girls will wear pink and play with dolls." Other gender expectations continue throughout our lives.
Gender Assignment: Classifying an individual, usually at birth, as "female" or "male."
- In more than 99.9% of births, a baby is declared a girl or a boy based on its genitalia at the time of delivery. The assignment is perceived as recognition of an essential aspect of this new human that is apparent to everyone. The act of assignment is a social act and is in nearly all cases and all societies an act that seems a simple recognition of a simple biological reality. However, the usual act of assignment comes with it some conscious and unconscious assumptions.
Gender Role: A set of perceived behavioral norms and expectations associated particularly with females or males, in a given social group or system
Gender: The social aspects of sex, including all of the above terms
- The classification and grouping of individuals as "female" or "male," based on their perceived sex.
- Think Gestalt: it's bigger than the sum of its parts.
- Can this complex list of expectations get messy?
Transgender: Having a gender identity or expression that doesn't fit neatly into the "male" or "female" boxes
- Think boundaries: when do we cross the line between those boxes?
- Can someone be between the two categories? Or outside them completely?
Credits
Copyright © 2007
University of Michigan Human Resources - Office of Institutional Equity
U-M Spectrum Center - Division of Student Affairs
Produced by HKO Media
Design and Content: John Fornoff, Gabe Javier, Anand Kalra, Jim Toy
Special thanks: Natalie Bartolacci, Bryan Bender, Denise Brogan-Kator, Rosario Carrillo, Sebastian Colon, Amy Eaton, Nathaniel Hill, Rachel Janken, Kelly LaPierre, Cameron McCumby, Jenna Miller, Benjamin Poniatowski, Kolby Roberts, Marwin Van, Kevin Werner, and all those that made this production possible.
For More Information...
...on transgender issues: National Center for Transgender Equality
...on gender identity issues on the University of Michigan campus, stop by the Spectrum Center, 3200 Michigan Union; OR The Office of Institutional Equity
